Last Add Rochester...I Promise

As you already know I was completely overwhelmed by my visit to the memorial in Rochester, NY. There were a number of reasons:

1) the scope of the memorial itself...Its footprint was as large or larger than any of the other   
     300+ memorials I have visited, with the exception of The Wall in Washington D.C.
2) the completeness of the memorial...it was as if all the other memorials I have visited, each unique
     in its  own way, were synthesized into this one incredible display.
3) the amount of information it contained was impressive and not what can be found anywhere else in
     my experience. Some of it is not so much wrong as incomplete and has been superseded by new
     data unavailable at the time this memorial was installed.
4) it shamed me into a huge admission to myself...more on this in a minute.

Regarding #3, two things come to mind. The number of fallen from Vietnam, through ongoing research, has been revised to a figure of 58,256. In addition, included in my previous post, the "Dusty" credited with writing the beautiful poem "Hello David" has since been exposed as a fraud who is not a nurse, has never been in uniform or served in any capacity in Vietnam. As I also stated in that post, standing alone, it does not decrease it's overall truth one iota in my mind.

On a more personal note, I had a serious epiphany in the moment (as if there is any other kind). Over the long days of travel on this journey I have not always been in a great mental place. Especially after driving a hundred or more miles to see a plaque the size of a dinner plate on the side of a building, or something engraved on a small rock somewhere on the grounds of a library or other government building. While I have always considered all these memorials to be "sacred" and worthy of attention, sometimes it seemed the time, effort and cost of the trip was not always worth the outcome. A very selfish attitude. I still did a small prayer, sometimes seeming to be scaled to the size of the memorial, or the information present, or lack of it, attesting to the importance given to it by those who created it, rather than giving it the very best effort possible, or the most complete blessing. Of course this is a personal assessment and might be argued by witnesses.

What brought me up short in Rochester was the realization that these mini memorials were not mini due to the indifference or ineptitude of those behind it. I have no idea of the time frames available for their completion, the budget of the municipality or family (families) involved, the design and placement parameters and a hundred other considerations required of any public display, and any judgement I may have made, consciously or unconsciously, was at the very least inappropriate if not downright demeaning to the intent of that which drew me to the site in the first place.

I resolved upon leaving to never think like that again. Judge not, lest you be judged says the Book, and it is right on.

I want to leave you with another beautiful insight from the Garden of Reflection:

In the spirit of America, seize this place and this moment

to commemorate, to educate, and heal, and to remember all

who have served, now serve and will serve

this great country:

The United States of America.

REMEMBER

If you are able,

save for them a place

inside of you.

And save one backward glance

when you are leaving for the places they can no longer go.

Be not ashamed to say that you loved them,

though you might not have always.

Take what they have left,

and what they have taught you

with their dying,

and keep it your own.

And in a time

when men decide and feel safe

to cal war insane.,

take one moment to embrace

those gentle heroes

you left behind.

Thank you for this, Major Michael Davis O'Donnell, helicopter pilot
KIA March 24, 1970

See this article on our new website: http://vietnamveteransmemorialtour.org/last-add-rochester-i-promise/

How Do You Value Something That...

...is possibly tainted by a very human flaw?

Since yesterday, when I posted the poem Hello David written by "Dusty," I heard a strident voice from one of my followers on Facebook cried foul:
...she was never a nurse
...she was never in uniform
...she was never in Vietnam during the war
...she had been outed as a fraud

So I checked out the claim and, it appears he was right, and, ultimately it makes no difference to me from a creative, passionate, resonant perspective.

I have to wonder why it was important to her to be deceptive in a way that was completely unnecessary...that was easy to fact check.

But while I can't abide the fraud, I can still feel the truth and power of the words.

Should we condemn Tennyson because he wrote about the battle of Balaclava without being there? (The Charge of the Light Brigade). Or a hundred other examples I could come up with if I had the time, and felt like it?

Reading those words, it is easy to assume it happened, probably countless times in theater, and it is very likely she heard about it from someone who was likely there, who didn't have the words to express herself, or who couldn't reduce them to paper. Whatever the source, the only way I have of judging the piece is how it made me feel, how it made my mind reel, and the thoughts it brought up, and how i am a better person for having discovered them.

And, so, it is.

See this entry on our new website: http://vietnamveteransmemorialtour.org/how-do-you-value-something-that/

Something Broke Inside Me

It happened on the best of days. Bright, sunny and clear...cool, wind at my back and clear sailing through New York State from north to south and back again, Syracuse to Elmira, Belmont and, finally, Rochester. Rochester. Rochester.

It took three and a half months...102 days...to come face to face with the experience I had been expecting from the start...that experience of emotional overload and psychic pain like I'd not experienced, perhaps ever.

It went like this: I had been looking forward to this memorial since I had seen the first photograph of it almost three years ago. Individual markers lining a walkway through a field of green. Seemed like a very peaceful setting and very creative.I knew it would be greater than I had expected as soon as I saw the walkway and the flags, and the large slabs of granite "guarding" the flags. It was impressive.

Got closer and started snapping photos. At the base of the flags I finally saw the markers...280 of them lining a gracefully carved path around and below the flag stand each about waist high, arrow straight, and bent at the top for easy line of sight of the information on each. As I began my walk along the path, occasionally reaching out and touching the markers, I noticed the detail. Felt the presence. saw the things left behind and attached to the markers...A POW-MIA flag on one...a marine corps flag on another...photos of the fallen placed by friend or family. Living proof that this space was visited often and revered by many.

Along the path, my heart got heavier and heavier...this was a more effective way of displaying the wages of war than names on a stone. This was more like a company at attention, palpable and visceral, and horrible. Then it got worse.

At the end of the path is the Garden of Reflection...large slabs of granite with more information about the war and its aftermath, it's cost and its psychic toll than is presented, as a rule, in one place. And THE POEM.

A nurse, called "Dust,y" who served in country, penned the most beautiful, awful, wrenching words imaginable, entitled "Hello David,"and I am thankful I was there to see them:

Hello David, my name is Dusty
I'm your night nurse.
I will stay with you.
I will check your vitals every fifteen minutes.
I will document inevitability.
I will hang more blood
and give you something for the pain.
I Will stay with you and I will touch your face.

Yes, of course I will write your mother
and tell her that you were brave.
I will write your mother
and tell her how much you loved her.
I will write your mother
and tell her to give your bratty kid sister
a big kiss and hug.
What I will not tell her
is that you were wasted.

I will stay with you
and i will hold your hand.
I will stay with you
and watch your life flow through my fingers
into my soul.
I will stay with you
until you stay with me.

Goodbye, David-my name is Dusty.
I am the last person you will see.
I am the last person you will touch.
I am the last person who will love you.
So long, David-my name is Dusty.
David-who will give me something for my pain?

*****************

It was too much. I sat on a rock and cried for nearly an hour. I cried last night reading this to my host. I'm crying again, now, writing this. I will be keeping this close to me for a very long time. I will be incorporating it into any speaking I do, and I will never forget that the cost of war does not end with the final payment of a life, but keeps going on the ledger of life, gathering interest against the soul of all touched by that death.

More about this in my next post. Photos follow below.

See this entry on our new website http://vietnamveteransmemorialtour.org/something-broke-inside-me/

See our photo gallery: http://vietnamveteransmemorialtour.org/photo-gallery/

Turning the Corner

The second major shift of this journey comes today on day 97. After five weeks of generally eastward movement (sorta like an EKG printout) I reached the Atlantic ocean and turned north. Two months later I am now turning the corner and heading west, capping the northeastern run in Waldoboro Maine.

I have had a great time in the last four states in which I've spent time. Rhode island with old friends, Massachusetts and New Hampshire with some new vet friends, and  now Maine with an old acquaintance from my home church who has relocated here. Special thanks to "Big" John and Noreen in Abington, MA, Ron Sr and Jr in Dover, NH and Linda in Waldoboro, ME without ALL of whom the last couple weeks would have been impossible.

We went to an interesting place for dinner last night...an old pier on a point in one of the innumerable inlets among the coast of Maine. A place with a seafood restaurant and a lot of picnic tables to spread out on, looking over the bay, the commercial and pleasure boats still in the water, the beautiful coastline, and enjoyed a great dinner: two lobsters, a bunch of steamer clams and some corn for only $21.99. That would buy you barely one lobster in Denver...lol.

This is truly the most beautiful place I've visited on this journey, at the top of a list of really incredible sights, and I know there will be more to come. I've noticed the weather cooling significantly the last week or so at night and know a big change is coming so this is a very good time to get out of the area, and, while I've only seen the barest changes in the foliage New England falls are famous for, I certainly have an idea what this place will look like in a month. And it will still be another week before I clear the area for good as I have yet to visit Vermont and Upstate New York.

Just about time to hit the road, so, time to pack it up. Enjoy.

Please Visit Our New Website where this entry has now been moved
http://vietnamveteransmemorialtour.org/turning-the-corner/

Also see our new Photo Gallery:
http://vietnamveteransmemorialtour.org/photo-gallery/